Bonzai: First of all, thanks for posting this. I appreciate your approach to these subjects.
The way I see it, there are three big problems that have led to the saltiness in the ever-growing Screeps World War:
1. Not everyone gets the same story about what's happening, even when everyone involved communicates as clearly and openly as they know how, let alone when we're in an adversarial (albeit friendly) game where hiding motives and goals is part of the play. I live in a country that recently elected a new leader. Presumably we all want a good one, but we sure don't agree on who the best choice is, and we all have wildly different interpretations of what looks like the same information. It's enough to take people who would otherwise like each other and make them stolid enemies. This is one of the things that makes being human interesting, but it also sucks when you want to get along with everyone.
2. We're playing a strategic game with self-organized groups of people, but many of us don't have the investment to enforce the level of organizational discipline and unity that would be absolutely necessary if this were a "real life" political landscape. In other words, many players just want to have fun and be themselves, don't want to do the hard parts of running an organization with people in it, but still want all the benefits of being part of a group.
There is perhaps no better in-game example of this than The Culture. We are a loosely organized lot of developers who like hanging out with each other. We don't really have a leader. Our alliance charter (found here under the Charter tab) is eight words long. Our logo is a rainbow butt! And I think most of Culture's members like it this way (maaaybe some don't like the rainbow butt). I am continually surprised by the spectrum of human diversity in our alliance, and I love being a part of it. I have made friends here that I hope will last beyond whenever this game stops being such a big part our lives, however wishful that thinking might be.
But it also means we often don't have a unified voice. I've had a lot fun in the last few days posting Culture News Reports in our public slack channel about the ever-changing "Mouth of the Alliance" and their near constant replacement in violent coups. That was mostly for giggles, but I also wanted to gently impress the idea on the community that we don't have a leader, and we are all grossly unqualified to be one, either from a lack of desire to lead or a lack of disposition. So when we declare war on an alliance that threatens one of our members, we might not have all our ducks in a row for the initial conflict. And our members get to be as vocal or silent about their perspective as they want. We each take whatever role we feel moved to take in the alliance. I know some other alliances in the game are quite a bit more regimented than this (SUN comes immediately to mind), but it seems like each has some level of freedom of expression for its members.
This makes me unsure of where to go with this, because we don't all feel the same about the current war within The Culture, and we definitely don't have a "this is the message we will communicate to the world" beyond our declaration of war to show solidarity for a member. If I step back from the situation, this doesn't seem fair to the other alliances, that our political position is the aggregate of what our most vocal members say in Slack and in in-game messages. I don't really know what we would do differently, though. Maybe this is my own personality and damage coming into play, but I have a lot of resistance to telling people what to do or what to say. I could also point fingers at the words and actions of players outside of our alliance, but I don't think that's necessary, nor do I think it would help (see point #1 - we all have experienced this conflict differently).
I do agree with Bonzai's assertion that the larger, more vocal players shape the culture of the entire community, and that a big part of the draw of the community (for me, at least) is that we're a generally friendly lot and want to have a good time together. I hope we can hold on to that.
3. The in-game military conflict has taken an emotional toll on some of the players. I think this looks different for each person involved, but I know of more than one person that has lost sleep over this and has let things that are important to them in real life slide to stay involved. I know I have, and I've barely seen any of the conflict. My own personal damage means that I take the responsibility for everyone's safety and happiness on my shoulders, so I really struggle when one of my allies gets attacked. I want to do what I see as my sacred duty and protect them, and if I am anything less than overwhelmingly successful, I feel terrible about it. The game stops being fun and feels like another job, a job that is taking time away from the job that pays me money and the people in my life. I can barely focus on anything else.
This reaction is a problem with me, not the game, but I imagine a lot of people have their own version of this. We get emotionally invested in this because we enjoy it, because it's an avenue of self-expression, because we care about our in-game buddies, and it's hard to let go of that if things don't go our way.
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I guess none of the above suggests a clear solution to improving relations between the players while the wars rage on, but I think it's a big part of what's contributing to the current drama.
Again, thanks for opening a discussion here, Bonzai. I've been thinking about doing something similar, and it's good to see others wanting us to all enjoy this in the end. And I'll talk to you about your and my personal shortcomings outside of this thread